There's water and then there is water. If you're scratching your head about what I'm saying, believe me, I was confused too.
Roaming around a GK market in the afternoon heat made me thirsty and I stopped to buy some mineral water. The packing of Bisleri seemed different, I noticed, and I wondered why. Then I remembered there was a controversy with a rival brand over which company had rights to the water from the Himalayas.... weird!
Anyway, I'm a bit taken aback when I notice the price to be 30 bucks. Isn't it supposed to be 20 rupees? First I wonder if it's some GK price (just like ice-creams at India Gate are costlier than normal) The lady at the counter says, it's written 30 but we are selling it for 20 rupees. Wow, how generous I wonder, thinking what's the catch!
Mum and I reach home and on closer scrunity of the bottle, she tells me this one is for 30 bucks because it is meant to be exported! Accha, so now we drink one variety of water whereas the same Indian company sells a different quality to foreigners? Slightly irritated, I wonder if the local quality is inferior or the export product is just priced higher for no particular reason. And if it meant to be exported, what is it doing in a local market? Leftover maal hai kya, like some clothes? I have no answer to these questions, but it does make me think what a wonderful world we live in. I've probably discarded this bottle, but next time, I'll make sure to contact the company's customer care and find out what's cooking!
I remember someone saying 1o years ago that a day will come when we will need to purchase water and there will be riots over this. It seemed incredible then...
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Well, now you have gone ahead and done it. Shekhar Kapur is working on a film 'Paani' -- a futuristic look at the water problem worldwide. I wouldn't be surprised if Kapur reads this blog and one fine day in 2011, you trek to the cinemas and in the opening scene of 'Paani', you find Priyanka Chopra walking down the GK market, thirsty and buying a bottle of Bisleri.
ReplyDeleteChopra: Arre, yeh kya!!! 30 rupay ka paani!!!
Lady vendor: Memsahib, woh toh likkha hain, hum 20 mein de denge.
Chopra: Yeh kya atyachaar ho raha hain, you think I can't pay 20 rupees. Do you know how many Manish Arora gowns I have in my closet?
Lady vendor: Madam ji, don't get emotional. Mujhe profit ho raha hain, yeh export ka left-over maal hain. Aap ko 30 dena hain toh de do.
Chopra: Kya, yeh main kya sun rahin hoon? Main left-over paani peeyungi. Kabhi nahin. Paani mera janm-siddh adhikaar hain.
[Enter Harman Baweja. Baweja and Chopra do a dry dance in GK market singing 'Paani Paani re']
The rest of the film is on expected lines -- Chopra uses her martial arts skills and plunging neckline to ensure India gets priority on the the mineral-water-exporters-mafia list. In the last scene, Chopra returns to GK market to buy a bottle of Bisleri, priced this time at Rs 50.
Chopra: Yeh paani ka swaad. Asli Bharat ki pehchaan.
Lady vendor: Bilkul orginal madam, lekin aapko sirf ek bottle doongi. Baaki mein foreign mein export karungi for Rs 100.
Chopra: Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!
Shekhar Kapur must be rewriting his script right about now :)
ReplyDeleteBut guys, I understand the humour -- but it's a serious thing and weird don't you think?
ReplyDelete