The ‘Me’ factor

While in school, I became addicted to a show on Star World called Ally McBeal. My best friend introduced me to it and gradually it became a favourite, so much so that one particular month when our TV stopped working, I had to depend on phone updates from my friend.

Ally was a nice woman, a lawyer, with her own set of issues in life, just like everyone else’s. The show’s named after her, so you would expect her to grab large amounts of air time, but no, it had quite a nice supporting cast, revolving around her office and friends. I loved the serial, but a part of it which has always stuck with me, is when Ally, going through another panic situation (it was a weekly show), is asked by her friend: What makes your problems bigger than anyone else’s and Ally replies: Because they are mine.

This line has probably stuck with me since then and it comes back to me every time I see certain people in the world, so engrossed in their world, not waiting a moment to consider if they may be causing distress to others. From young people to 80-year-olds, some individuals always want to make themselves the most important factor at any time – whether in a happy situation or in times of crisis. It’s just Me Me Me.

I often wonder what makes them behave this way. It’s habit no doubt, and we know, habits die hard. But the more serious question is whether these people ever realise that they cause pain to others. Or are they so in love with themselves that they disregard the possible consequences of their actions? Some films revolve around such characters and in typical Hindi film style, we’re shown happy endings with difficult people learning their lesson in the end and turning over a new leaf! Is it so easy in real life?

I know for sure that with age, these habits definitely do not reduce. On the contrary, they probably become more rigid since the people in question are so used to having their way.

On the other hand, what happens to people who put others forward, never say an unkind word and are most likely to always be on the receiving end. I’ve seen some people who could easily be put in the category of doing for others at the cost of oneself. Having known them, I can say that they can’t help their nature, even though they really should stand up for themselves. I think nature is such an innate thing that it can’t be changed easily. But then is that an excuse for self-centred people to go on with their unreasonable behaviour?

What is the way out? Some say detach, others say ignore (don't be so sensitive), still others might suggest confrontation or even escapism. But life isn’t that simple. Tough one, isn’t it? What do you do in such situations? One of the answers could depend on how important the person is in your lif; your actions should justify that priority.

I know some people who believe in doing the right thing. They say they have a conscience and that their actions are accountable to God. He watches everything. The thought is comforting.